so i'm an independent woman, part iii

Arry's journey continues

"Do you plan on having children" ...  the question of the week, the month, ... the year.  Lately, that's the question I've gotten the most often lately - I don't what it is, whether random people have gotten together and decided that would be the theme of the week or there's something in the air, but wow, ... children.  My stance on whether or not I wanted children has vacillated back and forth over the years... but started off as a most definite yes:

Up to High School: Most freaking definitely yea I did.  I love babies and children.  I worked in a daycare, I babysat, ... all I could do was look forward to the day I would have at least two of my own.  One boy, one girl, of course.

High School through College: It was definitely still a yes.  That is what I thought was supposed to happen.  I was supposed to graduate high school, go to really awesome college, graduate college with amazing honors, go to amazing job in New York City, kick butt, fall into relationship with a tall handsome very wealthy guy with cool clothes and car, fall in love, get married, have kids, live happily ever after in the suburbs of McMansions or penthouse in the city.

Post College to my Mid 20s: This is also a time of definite yes for the most part. I was going to enjoy getting better at my art and music hobbies, do event planning, work in nonprofits and raise money for good, watch a lot of movies and tv, read lots of books, maybe be an executive assistant ... have my first child hopefully by the age of 28, my second by the age of 30.  ... Yea...  Live the life of a carefree artist...

Age 25-26: This is the weird part.  Around 25, I got recruited into this career that originally started as a hobby - my life in management consulting.  I got a taste of how great it was to have a career, make real money, have a voice with a business card and growing my credentials and skills...  I loved learning new things, being challenged, working with technology...  In fact, I got multiple promotions in my first year at it.  I didn't see children happening for awhile... if at all.  I adopted a dog who in essence became my first child at that time, my Shiba Inu puppy, Mochi.  My motherhood desires were fulfilled for the time-being and I was having fun with "work"....

Age 27: ... then I went on this "booze cruise" in Puerto Vallarta with a few friends, where I spent the entire three hours with these two Mexican girls (ages 2 and 5) and fell in love...  I decided that I needed to have children ...  Crazy - missed out on my booze cruise to hang with little girls that I couldn't communicate with (they didn't speak English, I don't speak Spanish)

Age 29: ... and then my career was taking off and I was now already a mid level Manager at a consulting firm...  I had aspirations of starting my own business, going as far as the ride would take me.  I loved the independence and freedom having a career gave me.  I didn't need a man.  I bought my own things.  I traveled.  I did whatever I wanted.  ... I didn't see how children or marriage would work for me.... I saw children and marriage as handcuffs, shackles that would restrain me...  The women leaders at the companies I worked at didn't have children.  Most were unmarried.

Now: ... and now since then... I've been on the fence and wary about children.  About marriage.  You've read about it until now...  I don't think it's changed much...  Except that I think I might want children again.  :)  It's always been the scariest thing in the world to me - children and marriage.  ... For some reason, I might be just a little more open to it now.  I've got a great awesome super duper man in my life.  I love my employer, my start-ups.  I love the people in my life.  My dog is the best pet ever.  I'm in a good place.  I've left the single world and am very happily in couple world.  I think I'd like to be a part of the 'couples with children' world some day... but maybe some day sooner rather than later.  Did I just write that?

Weird.  Huh?  Now... just to figure out how I'm going have it all: family, life, friends, business, start-ups, me.  Time to make it happen.  How?  I dunno - I'll let you know as I figure it out.

~Arry